It's Not All About Me

As I look back upon the last 15 years and consider the success Exceptional Events has enjoyed, it doesn’t escape me that our “success” is as a result of the participation and cooperation of others.  It is why I was successful in my other career in insurance claims and claim litigation as well.  Condensed down, it is that one’s success is as a result of the efforts of others in varying capacities.  The smallest cog in the wheel can determine whether or not the wheel turns at all.  The lowest person on the totem pole can make or break you.  It was a valuable lesson I learned when negotiating personal injury settlements with attorneys.  Respect and be nice to the attorney’s secretary and the attorney will be more willing to negotiate a reasonable settlement with you because the secretary will be your best PR person.  Treat your own secretary with respect and consideration and she or he will take care of you and make you look good.  If you fail to do that, that same person can make you look like a fool.  For the same reason, a dining establishment or caterer can live or die by the level of customer service provided by the waitstaff or the cleanliness of the kitchen.

A business person should never get so full of him- or herself as to think they accomplished great things all by themselves.  Don’t get such a big head as to think that it’s all about you.  Rather, it’s all about all of the people around you who got on board with you to help you and your clients; who made you look good; who, without them, you would be a miserable failure.

As I look back over the last 15 years of our existence, I feel I owe a huge, sincere thank you to so many professionals and non-professionals alike for the parts they played in what we accomplished.  I am but an orchestra leader.  I bring together great people to make beautiful music together for the sole objective of creating wonderfully memorable events and weddings that reflect who our clients are; different melodies and arrangements for each unique person.  To the florist, lighting designer, venue, caterer, photographer, videographer, DJ and any other service that was enlisted, thank you for doing your utmost to make our clients blissfully happy.  Thank you for allowing me the privilege of orchestrating the day and working with you to make it sing.  To the maintenance man, thank you for making sure the electricity and plumbing are in good working order.  To the bus-staff, thank you for clearing the tables and making the room look neat and orderly even if the guests aren’t.  For the floral delivery people, thank you for being on time so it doesn’t slow the progress of the day.  To the custodian, thank you for making sure the bathrooms are clean.  Thank you to my staff of professional event people who assist me at weddings, run children’s games at private events, set up linens, fold napkins, and virtually do just about anything I ask of them.  As you can see, “the devil is in the details” but the details often don’t happen without someone else who is willing to take care of them for you.  It's Not All About Me

The Value of Plan B

People frequently smile condescendingly when I tell them I often refer to the Farmers' Almanac while planning an outdoor wedding or event.  While it certainly isn't perfect, it's uncanny how often that old-fashioned weather prognosticator is a good indicator of what weather to expect.  Trying to plan around weather is so important, there's even an on-line service out there called "My Weather" that customizes and personalizes weather forecasts for its wedding or event clients to provide up-to-the-minute weather information so as to avoid a weather-related catastrophe at the last minute. 

Any event planner will tell you that a core quality of a good plan is to "BE PREPARED"!  I'll use any tool at my disposal in an effort to cover as many "what-if's" as possible.  And if there are still some unknowns out there, I have to have an alternate plan just in case the worst case scenario actually happens.

Weather is the biggest "what if" out there.  Have you ever taken an umbrella with you on an outing because it looked like rain but you ended up not needing it after all?  It's funny how often we have taken our 36 golf-sized white umbrellas to an outdoor wedding or event because it looked like it might rain.  90% of the time, we never had to use them.  We like to think that the forces of nature decided in our favor since we were prepared.

While outdoor weddings, in particular, can be very romantic; especially in an idyllic setting, it's imperative to prepare for the possibility of bad weather, wet or soft earth and amenities we take for granted at an indoor setting.  Will it be rainy--or worse yet, will there be a thunderstorm--or will there be high winds?  Will the mosquitoes or gnats be out in full force?  What if the ground is spongey underfoot? Will there be enough parking?  What if, what if, what if?

Some years ago, I had a client who wanted to do an outdoor reception at their private residence for 550 guests during the summer.  He didn't want to use any tents because he had just spent a substantial amount on landscaping the previous year and didn't want it damaged and just didn't see the need for it.  I impressed upon him the importance of using tents in case it rained.  Not only that, if it were hot and sunny, his guests would bake in the sun!  After much discussion and cajoling, I finally got him to agree to allow tents which we confined, in large part, to his expansive paved circular driveway and adjacent basketball court with minimal use of grassy areas.  After installing thousands of dollars in special linens, chiavarri chairs and fabulous flowers, the party was just an hour away and--guess what!  It rained!  Without warning, the clouds rolled in and a light rain fell for about an hour.  Only a couple of tablecloths were dampened and guests were none the wiser and enjoyed the evening in sheltered splendor.

Another event was an outdoor wedding ceremony and reception on a family farm on October 1 a few years ago.  Early October can generally be warm to cool and, sometimes, rainy, however...SNOW??!  Now there was a  "what if" we never saw coming!  Temperatures never got out of the 30's.  It was cold, windy and wet.  I had only been brought in to provide day-of services and hadn't been involved in the actual planning of the event. 

Plan B was to use the family church as the ceremony site and the installation of numerous patio heaters--against my recommendations due to safety hazards from fumes in an enclosed space--and a big galvanized container of plush throws tied with ribbon for people to wrap up in.  I never took my parka off the entire night and froze!!  Had I been allowed a "do-over" and been involved in the planning, I would have tried to see what the weather forecast was and possibly taken steps to have proper tent heaters available.  But sometimes there are circumstances you just can't foresee and this may have been such a one.

Another summertime tented event at a private residence was a challenge for other reasons.  There were 3 tents installed, the biggest of which was 60' x 120'.  The location was in what would be considered "river bottom" land; very sandy.  The day the tents were installed by a company I'd never worked with before, the winds were roaring through at 25 mph which turned that huge tent into a giant parachute!

 

Once installed, it was noted that the 3' pins used to stake the tent were only partially hammered into the ground.  I'm sure the rental company thought that would make it easier to get them out during teardown.   Often, a tent company will have a special device that pries the pins out of the ground however I can only presume that wasn't the case for this company.  In spite of my protests that the pins weren't in deep enough, the tent company left with the belief that they had done their job.

Unfortunately, with the action of the high wind flapping the tent wildly, those pins were being pulled out of the sandy soil right and left and causing the wall supports to come loose.  We spent valuable time running around resetting the pins and the tent walls!

Knowing that this would be a summer event and warm, I had rented a number of large industrial fans to move air.  We planned to uplight the tent walls.  Temperatures had been in the 70's and low 80's right up to event day--when the temperature skyrocketed to over 95 degrees and the humidity was just as high.  It was sweltering!  There was no help for it; the tent walls had to come down to make the space tolerable. 

So what's the take-away from all of this storytelling?  1) Consider the "what-if's" and create an alternate plan to deal with them.  2) accept that there will unforeseen situations that you can't possibly know about in advance and just be prepared to punt.  3) Have an experienced planner who is resourceful and flexible who can take charge of those unforeseen situations to come up with a solution quickly.  Also, trust your planner's recommendations to create a Plan B as they are probably based on experience!  And, finally, as with all planning, if you have a good Plan B, you probably won't need it.  But, if you don't plan for the what-ifs, odds are you're going to wish you had! 

TIS THE SEASON FOR ENGAGEMENTS!

Christmas and New Years have come and gone and in their wake are a number of newly engaged couples.  Valentine's Day is right around the corner to add to the volume of brides and their families looking for the right vendors and reception venues and trying to figure out what details are important and what they can afford to spend.  Many are feeling somewhat perplexed and not a little confused and even, possibly, overwhelmed by the prospects of meeting everyone's expectations for a "WOW" wedding day experience.  Enter the wedding planner.

Many brides accept that a wedding planner is an absolute necessity while others--or their parents--are new to the concept.  What value does a wedding planner bring to the process and how do you go about finding one?

Finding one is fairly easy, thanks to the internet.  Just plug in "wedding planner" and your location in a search field and a number of names should pop up.  Also, talk to other brides or attend a bridal show or talk to other wedding vendors about who they know.

Once you've found some to consider, it is important to evaluate who is going to be the best choice for you.  A good wedding planner has your best interests at heart; not their own.  He or she is there to guide you to the "best" vendors and venues that meet your personal criteria and help you utilize your resources with the best return on investment.  "Best" doesn't necessarily mean "most expensive".  "Best" is a subjective term that is relative to each person's tastes, style, personality and budget meaning that "best" for one person isn't going to be the same for everyone.  As you visit with a prospective wedding planner, you will want to know if they derive any of their income from referrals to certain vendors (i.e. a 10% "gratuity"/"finders fee"/kick-back--you get the picture).  You'll want to know if they only work with a select stable of vendors; 1 florist; 1 photographer; 1 cake designer, etc.  One size does not fit all! 

Other important things to learn about a wedding planner you're considering is their experience level.  How long have they owned their business?  Where did they receive their training?  Do they have any accreditations?  Do they belong to any professional organizations?  Do they have references that you can call?  What on-line references and reviews are there?  Can you see photos of their work?

You also want to know about their business operations as they apply to you.  Is the wedding planner insured for liability?  Do you have a contract that details everything to your satisfaction?  (remember that any ambiguity in the language of a contract is always construed in favor of the person who signed it; not in favor of the person who wrote it)  When is the wedding planner available to meet with you and answer phone calls or e-mails?  Is this their full-time job or do they have another occupation that may limit your access to them?  Do they have any complaints through the Better Business Bureau?  What do other vendors think of the planner; are they knowledgable and easy to work with?

Equally importantly, is the wedding planner interested in your taste and style or more interested in furthering their own career and image with something that doesn't reflect who you are?  When it comes down to your big day, when your guests walk into your reception for the first time, they should not say, "Oh, this is Wedding Planner Wendy's work."  They should say, "Oh, this is definitely (Bride)'s and (Groom)'s wedding reception!  It's really THEM!

While a good wedding planner will definitely save you money, there's really no definitive way of knowing how much you'll save. After all, you can't know how much you'd save if you never spent it in the first place. Suffice to say, however, that your wedding planner should help you find ways of using your resources the most effectively; should save you a lot of time that you would have spent searching out resources and researching vendors and venues and should save you from an enormous amount of stress and confusion. That's worth a great deal, in my book!

So here's wishing you a happy wedding planning experience and a long and happy marriage!

My Mother is My Wedding Planner. Help!

(Disclaimer:  This is a completely fictional account of a mother trying to help her daughter plan her wedding and the pitfalls they encounter.  Any similarities to real individuals is very probable and too numerous to mention!)




(daughter) OMG!  My mother is helping me with my wedding!  I think we're both going to go crazy before this is over! 

(mother) OMG!  I'm trying to help my daughter plan her wedding and I may go crazy by the time it's over!




The minute we announced our engagement, she jumped in and started pestering me about the date and where it was going to be and how were we going to afford it and who should be invited.  She wanted to start visiting venues and wanted to talk to her church and she had a plan already figured out without even discussing what I wanted.



When she announced her engagement, all she wanted to do was get her nails done and go dress shopping.  She has no idea how much things cost and I'm trying to figure out how we're going to pay for this.  I don't think she's being very realistic.   I'll do everything I can for her, though, because I love her and I don't want her to have a wedding like I had.  It was nothing like I wanted and I was so disappointed.  I want her to have the beautiful traditional wedding that I never had.



I found the perfect dress!!  It's only $2,500 and it's exactly like the one I saw on "Say Yes to the Platinum Wedding Dress"



Why can't she just wear the dress I wore?  What happened to tradition?

But, Mom, that's not my style at all!  I like sleek and modern and dramatic; not crystal chandeliers and vintage.



What do you mean this space only holds up to 200?  But we've invited 350 people?  Now what do we do?



I have no idea what flowers I want.  I just know I want hot pink and orange.  No, really Mom, I don't want white flowers.  And I want them to look "modern".  I don't know how else to describe it.


 Wait a minute!  We only invited Bob and Sue Smith; not their 3 kids.  How do I deal with this without losing friends and being the bad guy?


 Who are these people on the guest list, Mom?  I don't even know them.  Why can't I invite my entire cheeleading squad  and my sorority sisters from college?  Bummer!




 OMG!  It's her wedding day and I haven't slept in a week!  I have guests from out of town.  The groom's family is making requests for additional guests, I spent all night doing the place cards, I have to get down to the reception site to decorate and I have no time to get my hair done.

OMG!  It's my wedding day!!!  I'm so excited!!  I'm so nervous!!  My mother is making me crazy and we've done nothing but argue in the last month.  This shouldn't be so stressful.  I wish we had hired a wedding planner.  I think I'm going to cry!



OMG!  The day is over and I'm exhausted!!  I don't remember anything about the day other than running all over the place trying to take care of things.  I didn't have time to have a good time and now the day is over and I feel as though I've missed everything that should have been fun.  I wish we had hired a wedding planner.  I think I'm going to cry!

Why Are Events a Good Investment for Businesses?

  

What do companies like Sony, State Farm, John Deere, Ashford University and others recognize about corporate events?  They know, first hand, the huge value a special event can have for employee motivation, increased sales and public goodwill.  

Have you ever received a piece of junk mail advertising that required you to peel something off and stick it somewhere; remove a card or put Tab A into Slot B or even play a sound bite?  This is a way to engage the recipients in the mailed advertising instead of just throwing a blurb at them from a page.  The advertiser understands that, by engaging the target of the ad, they have an increased opportunity for a sale.  Think, then, what an event could do to engage your targeted market?  Whether your company wants to introduce a new product or service; celebrate a hallmark achievement or thank existing customers and network with potential new customers, a showcase event or conference might be the perfect vehicle to create enhanced visibility and business.  

What better way to engage potential customers than inviting them to participate in an event that gives them value in return for their attendance?  Whether creating a networking opportunity in a social setting or providing information via special speakers, forums or product roll-outs, your business can enjoy a return on investment in the form of increased visibility and profits.

Another added value in business events is the impact on employee morale.  When your employees have surpassed their goals or even if they're struggling to achieve them, special events can serve to both acknowledge achievements as well as inspire and ignite renewed confidence.  Nothing feels better than your employer appreciating your efforts.  By the same token, when employees show signs of stagnation, a conference or retreat, complete with re-education, team-building, brainstorming, motivational speakers or exercises and even a little fun might be just the ticket to rekindle the spark that is needed.

One can't overlook the value of public goodwill for a company.  Events that assist a social cause or charity, either monetarily or through volunteerism, can enhance any company's visibility.  It also can help give employees a sense of purpose beyond company profit which also can be inspirational to your workforce, while, at the same time, making your company more high profile in your community, a win-win for any socially conscious organization.

(Photo by Jeff Wros Photography)

(Photo by Jeff Wros Photography)

Corporate events can be large or small; intimate or embrace the community at large.  While they can be expensive, as any form of advertising can be, they need not break the bank and can capitalize on the resources within the company.  The return on investment makes a corporate event well worth considering as part of any company's advertising or human resources budget.

The First Appointment is the Most Important

I love meeting potential new brides for the very first time.  If I'm lucky, they'll bring at least one family member and/or their fiance with them, which gives me the opportunity to learn a lot about the family dynamic and the nature of the relationship between bride and groom.  Our first meeting often goes as long as two hours and is always relaxed and fun.  We try to make it a happy, stress-free experience, complete with refreshments, comfortable chairs and pleasant atmosphere.

I'm a terrible salesperson, I suppose, because the last thing I ever think about is "making the sale".  I think people are just so darned interesting!  Who has the strong personality?  Do they have a sense of humor or are they more serious?  What is the relationship of the bride with her family or the groom with his?  What do they do for a living?  (Having grown up with a bunch of mechanical engineers in my family, I can pick those people out without even trying!)  What's their style like?  What are their concerns?

While we do spend time talking about their vision for their weddings, mostly we talk about other likes and dislikes; what's your favorite color, favorite food, etc.  However, by spending that time talking about seemingly innocuous things, I learn a great deal about them.  In fact, helping them plan their wedding is more about what makes them comfortable and how to prepare to help them than anything else.  It would not be a good thing to recommend (hypothetically) ball fringe to someone with chrome and glass tastes.  That's why our initial meeting is so important and goes so long.  I want to learn about who YOU are; not just what your wedding colors are.  If you want me to help you, I need to know as much about you as I reasonably can, in a short period of time, without invading your privacy.

And, speaking of privacy, that's something that is absolutely critical about my relationship with my clients.  They share a lot of confidential information with me, from financial to interpersonal.  They confide a great deal in me, which is truly an honor.  I respect that trust and they must have absolute confidence that I won't betray it by disclosing what they tell me to anyone else.  Even in a first meeting, there are inklings of those issues, which help me help them if I get to work with them.

People often call for just a price quote over the phone.  While I know that would be the most expedient thing for them, it isn't realistic from my standpoint.  I know there are a lot of planners out there with lots of package deals with pretty names.  The problem is that those packages don't fit everyone.  They may offer more than what the client wants or they don't include things that they DO want.  Since we customize what we do to fit each prospective client's needs and wants, our first meeting is extremely important.  It is from that meeting that we offer the client suggestions of what we can do to help them and what it would cost.  At that point, once we've answered any questions they may have, we let them go home. 

We don't push for a sale.  We don't shove a contract in front of them.  We let them go home where they can discuss if we're a good fit for them or not in private.  I figure that couples have enough pressure on them as it is; they don't need me compounding the pressure by breathing down their necks to get them to make a decision while they're sitting in my office.  Obviously, if they know they definitely want our services, I'm happy to set them up while they're sitting there.  However, primarily, the objective of the first meeting is to get acquainted and give the prospective client a sense of what it would be like to work with us; relaxed, fun, interesting and all about them and their needs.

Money Saving Tricks

One of the first meetings I have with a wedding client covers the budget and how to get the most out of the resources that are available.  Most people are concerned about cost and how to make everything they want fit their respective budgets.  Following are some easy techniques I've learned to help my clients save money and get the most bang for the buck.

Invitations and Save-the-Dates:  If you haven't checked out on-line companies like Vistaprint (www.vistaprint.com), you should!  They offer social and wedding invitations and often have promotions providing up to 100 postcards for free.  You can upload your own photo for a small price or use one of their graphics to design your own.  Post cards are your best bet for Save-the-Dates as well as response cards to include with whatever invitation you use.  Even if you don't use an online printing company, you can print your response cards using computer printable postcard stock from an office supply store.  Not only will it save you money to print them yourself, but postcard postage is a lot less expensive than first class postage.  While making your own invitations may save you money, it usually doesn't save you time and, unless you have nothing but time on your hands, I don't think it's such a great trade-off unless it's something you really love to do.  (Another hint:  if you're making your own invitations, be sure to pick the envelope you plan to use BEFORE you start so you're sure whatever you create fit's a mailer.)

No money for specialty linens?  No problem!  The key is to add color, texture or glam to your tabletop so as to create more interest than a standard white or ivory poly-cotton tablecloth can do.  One of the easiest techniques, if you don't have the money to rent colored or fancy linens, is to rent colored napkins.  At $.25 to $.50 each, you can add all of the color you want for minimal money.  Even if you don't rent colored napkins for the place settings, seriously consider renting one for the center of your table.  Having color under your centerpiece will make it pop and give your decor more bang for the buck.  If you want something with a little more pizzazz or in an unusual color, simply buy fabric by the yard--you can get 4 - 18" squares out of a yard of fabric--to cut enough squares to put one on each table.  Don't sew?  No problem!  You can either cut them out with pinking shears (v-cut shaped blades) or glue or tape under the edges to finish them.

Another idea would be to have a sweetheart table and dress it in a pretty tablecloth to make it the "jewel" in the room.

Is your flower budget really tight?  Boy, here's an area that is chock full of ways to save!  First, avoid big floral arrangements at church.  Usually, you'd have to spend around $250 and up to create an arrangement large enough to be visible at a church altar.  Often, the view of any flowers is going to be obstructed by the wedding party standing there.  Not only that, but spend your money where it's going to have the most impact; where people will see it.  In the scheme of things, the time spent at the wedding ceremony is only a fraction of the time spent at the reception.  If you're planning to have flowers at the ceremony site, make them so they can be used as part of the reception decor. 

If you have a unity candle at the ceremony, have your florist create a floral arrangement around it that can be transferred and used as your centerpiece at your head table or sweetheart table.  If you have floral sprays on standing candelabras, see if you can't use them somewhere at the reception so you're getting the most value for the expense (see below).

Before

After

While pew bows may appeal to you, where will you be able to use them at the reception as part of your decor?  We have frequently recommended to our clients that they have a floral spray or greenery spray with a ribbon streamer as a pew decoration that we can pull off the pews after the ceremony and lay on the table around the base of a candle jar as a table centerpiece at the reception; having them work double-duty.

If your budget just won't make it possible to have floral centerpieces for your reception, fear not!  The first rule of decorating for a party is that lighting is key to creating the atmosphere.  (And, if you can't light it because it's daylight, use color to create the atmosphere).  Lighting is everything when it comes to creating a "wow" at an event.  So, if flowers aren't going to work, do it with candlelight.  Most venues won't allow you to have candles outside of containers because they present a fire hazard.  You can either rent or buy very inexpensive cylinder jars to house pillar candles, or you can cluster votive candles in jars or other containers that you can recycle/repurpose (know anyone with a baby eating baby food???).  You can go to thrift stores or garage sales and pick up containers and create eclectic collections of containers in different sizes and shapes.  Cluster these in groups of 3 or other odd number (even numbers just don't seem to work, visually).  You can also scrunch up interesting fabric underneath the candle jars to add color and texture and--voila'!--you have a dramatic centerpiece that is impressive for your ambiance.  Can you imagine walking into a room that features a glow of candles from every table?

There are some great on-line sources for inexpensive candles.  Check out www.cudge.net or www.sav-on-crafts.com, www.candles4less.com and others.  You can also watch for sales at craft stores like Michaels or Hobby Lobby and get a battalion of friends to with you to buy as many as you can carry.

Can't afford the cake you saw in "Martha Stewart Weddings"?  Quite frankly, most of us can't!  But, you can still use that cake as an inspiration for yours.  Here are a couple of ways to do it.  First of all, keep in mind that cake pricing, like anything, is based on time and materials--as well as the artisanship of the cake designer.  If you really love the look of sugarpaste flowers but can't afford them, select some tasteful silk flowers (which can be just about as expensive as the real thing but at least they don't wilt or--worse yet--die).  If you like the look of rolled fondant but can't afford it, you might be surprised to know that most cake designers are so good at what they do that they can make their standard icing so smooth that it looks like fondant without the cost. 

Don't care and still want rolled fondant and sugar past flowers?  That's okay.  But go with a smaller 2- or 3-tiered cake (maybe 12", 10" and 6" tiers) on a stand of some kind that elevates it and makes it more important-looking (a sturdy box with scrunched gorgeous fabric works great) and have kitchen cakes with standard icing and no decoration to keep the cost down.  The little cake takes center stage and gets all of the oohs and ahhs but feeds only a limited number of guests.  Just remember that the more labor-intensive the design is, or the more materials that are required, the more expensive the cake becomes.

Feeding the guests:  The same rule in cake cost applies to food costs.  Don't think for a moment that serving only appetizers is going to cost less.  If your caterer has to prepare little single serving portions of something, your cost will go up because of time and materials.  Also, if you're serving hors d'oeuvres for a cocktail hour, enforce some portion control by having the most expensive items "butlered" or passed by waitstaff instead of being part of an hors d'oeuvres buffet.  It's one thing to have Swedish meatballs in a chafing dish (meatballs purchased frozen in a bag) or cheese and fruit trays with crackers on a buffet table.  But, the minute you put chilled shrimp cocktail out, or some relatively higher-priced item, there will be those guests who decide to make dinner out of it and it's "damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead!"  Suddenly, that expensive hors d'oeuvres has fed 10 people and it's gone!  By having the more pricey items  passed by waitstaff, you can limit consumption as rarely will a guest help himself to more than 2 items off of the wait-person's tray.

Also, as you are considering your menu for a reception dinner, keep the cost of food in mind.  Obviously, pasta dishes will be your least expensive entree.  Chicken is probably next on the list, price-wise, with pork coming next followed by certain fish dishes.  Beef and shellfish usually top the list where price is concerned.  If you really, really, really have to have beef but money is an issue, the obvious solution is to go with the cheaper cuts of meat--Swiss steak comes to mind--or going with a comparatively small serving.  The serving can be enhanced with special sauces or condiments or toppings to make it look more than it is.  By the same token, the less expensive options can also be zhoozhed up with complimentary toppings such as fruit sauces or vegetable garnishes.  Go heavy on salads or vegetable sides and starches (potatoes, rice, breads, etc.) to make the meal filling.

If you're reading this, I hope you find some of these tips helpful; or at least that you've become inspired to brainstorm and find some of your own methods of making the most out of your budget.